"I'm sorry"

[jbsegal]

English needs seperate terms for "It is my fault and I apologize" and "I am unhappy in sympathy with your unhappiness".

Am I just showing a lacuna in my vocabulary?

Comments

[lauradi7.livejournal.com]

This is probably the reason that "I'm sorry for your loss" has become the default when talking to someone whose loved one has died. The problem with that is that it's already become a cliched phrase, so it sounds insincere. I actually say things like "I'm apologetic" when that's what I mean, and I sometimes use "regretful" or "chagrined" when I mean those. English is full of words for these nuances, but they don't sound conversational.

[skreeky]

it's already become a cliched phrase, so it sounds insincere

I've been trying to teach myself to say "I'm sorry to hear that" when people I don't know well tell me about a tragic event, because it is expected that I do so. It doesn't come naturally because it sounds phony to me, like the follow-up should be "I'm sorry to hear that, now how about those Mets?" I have been trying to train myself to think of it as anything other than a trite conversation-ender. I usually have to preface it with something more emotional (if corny) like "Awww, gee, I'm sorry to hear that" or "Wow, that must be really hard, I'm sorry to hear that."